Madam, I feel it is my public duty to report the sighting, over the last week or so, of strange men in reflective jackets armed with tape measures lurking with intent at the roundabout outside Morrisons. Some have beards. Could it be we have been rumbled? That the council, like all Local Authorities and they do love the A-word, have in their relentless drive to make every aspect of our lives just that bit more pointlessly awkward than it needs to be have realised the roundabout is far to sensible. A whole new level of tarmac banality must be installed at once! And at a Jeremy Clarkson-HUGE cost. Far more important than getting a few shovels and filling potholes, some of which around here, if they haven't already nearly pierced the earth's crust are certainly big enough to shelter a family of four during an air-raid.
David Williams, Ross